7/24/2025
something reaaalllyy scary abt dissociating is losing track of time.
i remember a few days ago we were at work an i was doing my tasks quickly and having fun with coworkers and then suddenly BOOM i blinked and was on the mainline (we work for a fast food sandwich chain) working bread instead of wrapping and bagging. i didnt entireellyyy remember how i got there i just got yknow... ughh how do i even describe it ........ LIKE it felt like a dream. i had memories but they were all fuzzy and they are technically MINE? but they werent? i didnt even know how i got there!!!!! one of our managers came by and jokingly asked if i was doin alright (im usually the one to vocally complain abt workin bread since it gets so boring) n when "i" spoke i realized Oh. Oh im observing.
usually we dont even get much amnesia besides emotional stuff!!!! really!!! im being honest!!!!!!! but sometimes... ohhhhh SOMETIMES we get rlly bad bouts of a random day where we lose track of everything. that was one of those days......... i kept going i dont know how i got here and im scared but i have to act like im not!!! it sucks!!!!! tho i did tell my coworker under the guise of a joke that i had no idea how i started working bread. "it was like something otherwordly possessed me" i said. they laughed and i did too. nobody even knows im technically telling the truth!!!!! its great!!!!!
lou made a post about it. ynkow ykno knoywwww the waking up stuff.... that was i thinkk? the same day. maybe a little after. i dunno stop asking stop it!!!!!! but yeah he hasnt been around in a while. to be fair he really only comes during emergencies... if someone panics or is triggered hes the one to step forward, unwillingly or willingly is another question... but hes a good guy to have around when u need a level head!!!!!!!!! one time when tord was having a breakdown, lou drove home instead!!!!! (dont tell mama or any of the others but lou is a FANTASTIC subordinate to have around.)
gosh he was also right. how in the hell do you end these? um um ummmmmm amnesia sucks when we have it!!!! i hate the detachment i hate the confusion i hate it i hate it i hate it!!!!!!
i am begrudgingly grateful for those who are able to quickly step up and be the level-headed ones in bad situations. i am good for all situations because i am me... but even leaders have a few horrible moments of weakness here n there yknow? relying on others is good. what else would you need an evil army for?
- the kindest evil villain you will ever know
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